Short Forms

Can someone please explain to me what is the purpose of chat room short forms like BTW, LOL, LM(F)AO, ROTFLM(F)AO, LSHIPM, etc.?

In todays world where most people can type on average about 70 words a minute how much time do you really save using these riduculous short forms. In the the case of BTW which is short for "By The Way" if you've been living under a rock somewhere for the last dozen years or so. Do you really save all that much time? Seven keystrokes, one word versus three equates to a savings of about 1.7 seconds. Good Lord, are we that pressed for time these days that we have to try and save every second we can. Cancel my trip to Europe, as I obviously won't have any time for it since I prefer not to use short forms. If I ever do you have my permission to slap me upside the head.

As for LOL or "Laugh Out Loud", do you really do that or are you just saying that? So, you sitting there in the Internet Cafe, sipping your low-fat grande latte while you read your e-mails and mind enlightening blogs (like this one), actually laugh out loud when you come across something funny? Do you make others around the cafe look at you and wonder, "Gee, what are they reading? I wish I was reading something that funny." Or are you laughing on the inside (LOTI), so as to not embarrass yourself in public. Or perhaps you're at home, all alone, and you can laugh out loud, but since there's no one else around to show what it is you are laughing at you simply stifle your laughter and sink deeper into the lonely existence you call your "life".

Then there's LM(F)AO or "Laughing My (F'ing) Ass Off. I've been around many years and, believe it or not, have spent a great deal of time laughing during that time. I can honestly say that I have never laughed my ass off even once. Perhaps I've been doing it wrong. What is the secret type of laughing one must do in order to lose one's ass simply by laughing? I know several book companies who would pay big money to publish a diet book about how to lose one's ass simply by laughing. I'll share the royalties. Honest. After all I'm Monkish in nature.

Then there's ROTFLM(F)AO or "Rolling On The Floor Laughing My (F'ing) Ass Off". Okay anybody who really does this I want to see proof. Send me your YouTube link so I can actually watch you do this and then maybe, and I mean maybe, I'll believe you.

Last one, for now, LSHIPM or "Laughing So Hard I Peed Myself". Okay, well I think we've all done this at least once in our lives. Mind you I haven't seen this one used that frequently. I guess incontinence isn't that funny a subject with our aging population and all. Advertisers should really make those Depends commercials more funny. Just think of all the sales they could make if they got the public LSHIPM.

So, whatever happened to the art of writing? Of actually saying something that means something. Have we really become a world with so little to say that we've taken it to the next level where we end up even abbreviating the few pitiful words we do have to say? I'm not saying every note or letter has to be an equivalent to Tolstoy's War and Peace, but we need to start putting some effort back into writing before we become a world of idiomatically illiterate Bohemians.

For those of you who haven't a clue what I just said, what are your thoughts on short forms? Let me know your favorites and what they mean as I hate trying to figure those damn things out.